stupid

chokey

thistle...

okay nvm thats a random word to start off with.

I just came home from school feeling weary of life. I realised I have been accomodating to people for too long. And I am ----ing sick of it. REALLY.

It's like, "Hey! I really think this sucks. Don't you agree?"

I'd be like, " yah. totally agree with you."

When sometimes in fact I don't.

I've really got to give my self some freedom. I keep thinking of "what would happen if I do this", "what wiil happen if I said this" and "what others would think of me."

Too long I say. Way too long.

I want to be a bitch for one day. Just being really nasty and yet no one picks on me. I'm tired really tired. Everything I say always seem to be wrong. THAT'S SO UNFAIR!

Why is it that when other says things, it's always okay and "Oh! How so clever of you to think of that!" but everything I say would be like,"Maybe can consider but I prefer XXX's idea." otherwise," LOL! that's so dumb! You see arh if we like that horh.......etc."

Perhaps its just me. Perhaps I'm really stupid.

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NO!!!!!!!! No! I'm not! I don't agree I'm in fact smarter then you think I am!

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I should stop deceiving myself.

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Explain my dropping to CL?

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Just exam anxiety.

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DOn't lie! HCL dropping to CL is such a disgrace! The papers are so freaking easy and yet I got a B3 during 'O' Levels? I'm stupid!

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NO! IMPOSSIBLE! Exam anxiety!!!!

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Amath? EMath? EL? Chem? SS? I don't see myself performing way better than others. Besides, you didn't even score full marks for the CL test! If it's easy? why no full marks? EL? nothing appears on magazines or whatsoever. No praises. All so quiet. I get so high perhaps it is true that teacher is too easy on me. SS. Worse than a person who sucks at EL? I'm suppose to be able to inteprete things better 'cos got more vocab! I always fail my Maths somemore!

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No! Maths is out of carelessness!

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Explain the carelessness? why can others be careless yet score so well? Why are others not as careless as you are?

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I dunnoIdunno!!

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see I'm dumb. I'm NOT even pretty. I'm so tanned. fat. well not too fat...PIMPLES!!!!

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Why care about beauty? I can always focus on acad?

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Don't you see youare bad at both! Plus, you are such a hypocrite. A jinx!

A JINX YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!

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I didn't do anything! I didn't! It wasn't my fault!

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you know you did alot of things. You know It was your fault...YOUR FAULT!

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NO!NO!NO!

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Explain.

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I dunno.

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see?

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Yea. Mayb, I wll shut up. I will. I'm not worth a friend. I suck.ISUCK!! I do.

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good.

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I don't care. I'll keep to myself. Study. 'O' Level.

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excellent at least you can try catching up with your friends schoolmates.

.

Ok.

(My drawing sucks?)

losing my sanity